Early last year my girlfriend (now wife) was surfing the web and came across a trailer that she screamed had my name written all over it! After hearing the title, I ran over and took a seat and prepared to be enthralled, I was.
First of all, let me start by saying that I do not have a cheerleader fetish proper, but a Satanic Cheerleader seems to do it for me, don’t know why. Hell, I even own 1977’s Satan’s Cheerleaders. OK, so what’s the deal with this film? I’ll explain.
First off, the films was conceived as a film within a film and was rolled out as a series of reels in 2011. 3-6 minutes at a time, it left you waiting at the edge of your seat like a good episode of 24.
We open up on a guy looking out the window with a gun, obviously he’s just killed someone as he is covered in blood and attempts to wash it off in the restroom.
Hard cut to white on black titles: “Somewhere in 1978”
We meet sassy naughty cheerleaders Jana (Laura Leone Hancock), Roxy (Keri Horton), Kristi (Janessa O’Hearn), and Jenn (Jennifer Wright) as they prepare for a cheerleading retreat.
More white on black titles inform us that there are several portals to hell in the world and one is located in the woods where the girls are driving to. Once there they run into a group of guys lead by our killer from the beginning who are out to bury the body. They all are a little off anyway. Well Jana gets sick from swallowing a ton of hot dogs Yeah, weird, but the girls seem to take it in stride. She runs into the bushes to puke a low and behold, she pukes right on our killer Mike’s shoes. When asked what they were doing, Mike tells them that their friend committed suicide out here and they came to get the body. The girls don’t really care and invite them to have some beers with them. Jana says she’ll be there in a minute, presumably to finish puking her guts out, at least that’s what I thought. WRONG! I just didn’t see this coming. Jana, our lovely hot dog eating supposed vegetarian walks over to the body and digs her fingers into its brain and eats it. She eats the dead guy’s brain! WOW! I didn’t expect it at all so yeah, I was shocked.
While the girls start mounting the guys, Roxy goes to check on Jana only to find her passed out on top of the body, her mouth covered in brain blood. You know what that means; it’s time for a cannibalistic lesbian interlude. YES! Is it the evil portal located in the woods making the girls act this way or are they just freaks? And what do Mike and his crew of losers have in store for them? This is the warped little journey of Catholic Cheerleaders for Satan.
I LOVE this film on so many levels! The best part of it is that it never degrades into parody. So many indie films do that and it drives me nuts! This film plays it straight and has fun at the same time. That is a hard juggling act and Director Vince D’Amato pulls it off nicely. Dito for the cast of cheerleaders, the look and feel like they stepped out of the 1970’s especially Keri Horton as Roxy, who resembles a young Ellen Sandweiss of Evil Dead fame. So in short, if you’re in the mood for something retro that has some style, Catholic Cheerleaders For Satan is your ticket!